Happy Anniversary

Today was a good day.  I have a fair percentage of good days recently.  My dose reduction in February tamped down the physical side effects.  More importantly the reduction was enough to calm the raging depression that this drug induces in me.  I’m happy, safe, and reasonable. 

End of April I had the test to determine if this lower dose is keeping me in remission.  The equipment that runs this test can also run COVID tests, so there was quite a delay in getting results.  During which time I fretted, worried I might have to change drugs again.  I can’t go back to the higher dose on this drug, not safely.  Yesterday I got the call.  My numbers have gone up, but not so far as to be clear that the lower dose is not doing the job.  I certainly would have preferred holding steady, or a reduction.  A solid result to assure me that the leukemia will remain in remission at this dose so I can keep this medication long term.  But I’m good till the end of July.  I’ll take it. 

A year ago today I was setting up to leave for the Nevermoor trial.  I’d been to the doctor earlier as I’d not been feeling well, figured I had Lymes again.  My doctor called me that evening, called home and cell and left messages telling me to go to the emergency room.  I needed to finish chores, feed dogs, and take a shower before I went in.  I expected to be home in a couple hours, instead I ended up in an ambulance bound to Boston.  It was a very long night.

Despite being fortunate to have a leukemia that can be controlled with drugs, I am not one of the folks who tolerate the drugs well.  It has been a long year.  I’d have liked to be further along by now in working out the difficulties with the meds, but last summer I could barely get myself to walk out to the raspberry patch to pick a few for my cereal.  This spring I worked to put the neglected patch back in order.  Last summer I could barely set a couple lines of net fence, stopping to let my heart stop pounding a couple times per roll.  Wednesday I moved 6 rolls to set the ewes on pasture.  Last summer I depended on friends helping with the simplest of tasks.  This year I can do the work, though I’ve cut my stock and dog numbers to adapt. 

Today was a good day.  I did a lot today, which stood in clear contrast to where I was last year.  They say you should not look back.  Looking back today I saw how far I have come.